Thunder and lightning in Summerland, 2012
I love this picture far more than I can describe.
I’m not quite sure where to begin- writing on this blog now feels almost like having to answer the question “What have you been up to?” or “Tell me things!” when having lunch with a once good friend.
There was a point in my life when I had to write about my day in order to make sense of it. Now? Now I feel so busy I can barely eat.
I live in LA now, Echo Park specifically. I’m interning at a music management firm, Vitalic Noise, and writing/interning for Yours Truly while working at a taco restaurant downtown.
Currently something is eating away at my stomach- there is something that has been stressing me out. For those who have been keeping up with me for the almost five years, you’ve seen how anxiety has slowly begun to run my life. I suppress it as much as I can, but today it took over. My stomach has been in pain all day, my heart was racing and concentrating on the writing I had to was difficult. I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to in LA. Not anyone who I can fully open up to without getting nervous of saying the full truth.
++++++ 1 hour later+++++
Feeling better. Back to back Steve Coogan films are helping. Browsing shoes on sale are helping, too. Considering that and coming to terms with the fact that men are stupid has also eased this knot in my belly. Did I mention I was slightly stood up on Friday? Yep. He made the date and then never called me. Whatever. I went to an industry party that I would have worked my way around the room, but I just couldn’t stomach chic people who I had no connection with. I didn’t feel like my usual confident self and my anxiety made me feel sick. I hate feeling dependent on people, but I would love to be able to freely lean on someone without feeling guilty, but because they wanted to be there for me. Sometimes reaching out gets exhausting.
I really need someone to come to me just for the sake of wanting to make me feel better. I work so hard to make other people feel good. I wish I got that in return just because.
Artist & Illustrator:
February / March 2014 Sketchbook
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My upcoming release, the Flamingo Asics Gel Lyte III on the cover of Sneaker Freaker Germany